I wanna passion pit in your ass
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
