yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
