She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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