Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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