You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
