ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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