I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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