Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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