Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
