Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize