Small penises have feelings too.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I deserve this hangover.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize