Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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