He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
