my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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