mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
