I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you would pick up someone in the library
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
