areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
