im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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