I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
