Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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