I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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