are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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