if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
