get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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