So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
