I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
