i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
