Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
