I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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