my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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