Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
