My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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