What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
