my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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