She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
