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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
