so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
