oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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