So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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