What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
