You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
