the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
