Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
