dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
