My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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