Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
