Moan for me like Helen Keller
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize