It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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