woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
