Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
