My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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