that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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