just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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