Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
