tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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