I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
