Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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