What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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