They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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