You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
