I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
